Brandy, Monica & Respectability
- ZuriR
- Sep 30, 2020
- 3 min read
”The past is never dead. It’s not even past.”
-William Faulkner
Um so, after singing at the top of my lungs and wiping away underboob sweat I jumped on social media to see if my friends had the same good time I did during the Brandy Verzuz Monica battle. To my dismay, many people that I know (both with degrees and without) were sharing these memes, pitting two accomplished black women against each other.
Not because of ability, because they are both obviously on the same level since they’ve been chosen to battle against each other, but because of a quarter centuries old divisive mindset known as “respectability politics”
Respectability politics is defined as the moralistic discourse used by some prominent figures, leaders or academics who are members of marginalized groups.
After being treated as property for four centuries Blacks needed a way to declare their humaneness and respectability would be the vehicle used to get there.
Respectability was started by Black elites to “uplift the race” by correcting the “bad” traits of the Black poor.
What respectability politics actually achieved was: 1. Policing other members of the community
2. Creating a distorted view of Southern blacks
3. Bowing to accomodationalist ideology (yessa massa I sure ain’t shit, teach me your ways!)
Fast forward 70 plus years and here we are using this tired ideology against each other.
Excuse me??
To be honest as someone who straddles the identity fence: I am Belizean by heritage but identify as Black American (cue the Killmonger T-Challa debate), raised by two physicians who sent me to public school (right, I know?), partake in many leisure activities where I am often the only POC and have to prove that I read and will read the f outta you as well as pop lock and drop it on demand, I sit at a pretty unique cross section. I mean for goodness sake I am Episcopalian, raised in a church where everyone was black, successful and quite bougie while the church sat across the parking lot from the projects.
**Me when church members start fussing about the neighborhood kids like the whole point of being Christian isn’t-nvm.**
Being in this unique cross section made me have to constantly check my elitism, and that could be why I am so sensitive to my people feeling the need to tear each other down. Trust I get enough of that just trying to take my daughter to free storybook time at my local library (well you know not the one in my city because, LE SIGH).
I am exhuasted and would like to call a thing a thing.
TEARING DOWN MONICA BECAUSE OF WHO SHE WAS RAISED BY AND WHERE SHE WAS RAISED IS BULLSHIT.
GASSING BRANDY AT MONICA’S EXPENSE IS BULLSHIT.
Both women have worked hard to achieve their respective levels of success and superstardom and don’t deserve to be torn down or pitted against each other BY THEIR OWN PEOPLE.
I mean we all know two black women can’t occupy the same space (think of Gabby Douglas and Simone Biles). So why are we as black women keeping up the catty shit?
Is it lack of education?
Is it willful ignorance?
I’m not quite sure. But I am TIRED. Tired of us tearing each other down. Tired that we see another sista as competition. Tired that so many of us believe that in order to be good enough we must outshine somebody else.
You don’t Tony Childs.
You are a Queen without any affiliation to a job, man or organization.
If you don’t feel good about yourself then your problem isn’t the other woman, but inside of you. Don’t spew that onto other women. Better yet make sure I don’t see the shit.
As always let me know if you’ve enjoyed today’s blog or if I took it too serious. More on this topic can be found in the book “Remaking Respectability: African American Women in Interwar Detroit” by Victoria W. Wolcott.
Zullymama is a place for honest motherhood and where WOMEN SUPPORT OTHER WOMEN. You can connect with me on Instagram @raisingren or on Facebook as Zuri Risper. Peace Queens.✨
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