5 Ways to Be The Village

The transition to motherhood is not easy, in this blog I’ll list five ways you can support the new mom in your life.

1. Remember that their life has changed entirely.

-the transition to motherhood was a rough one, be there for your friend. Make sure that you’re still calling and checking on them. If they don’t have time to talk don’t take it personally, new mom life is wild and she may need a few days to deal with all the things that may be overwhelming her.

2. Clean their house

-we all know that babies can come at anytime. that means that her diaper bag could be packed, ready at the door or that can mean that the crib hasn’t been set up yet. Either way, make sure you step in and help! Coming home to a nice calm and clean house after birth, will never not be needed!

motherhood is beautiful, yet exhausting. Lend a hand

3. Cook the new family food

-yoooooo. Imagine this: sore body from birth, leaking sore boobs, must and sweat cuz who knows when you last showered, keeping sane with a baby who only sleeps 2 hours stretches and can smell when you finally get a second to breathe. Who the hell can cook under those circumstances!? Exactly!! With my cousin I cooked for her for a week after she had her baby (and I cleaned her house and set up nursery). Small things like adding a couple more pieces of chicken to your meal to give to that new family will go a long way. I know people even give gift cards to new families, and with the advent of doordash it’s easier now than ever to step in and HELP. 🤍

fooooood for the new mom soul 🤍

4. Stay for a little

- You really don’t get any sleep after you have a baby. Now that I think of it, how are you supposed to labor and then take care of a child? When did you sleep? I remember being in that room just Tavien and I, and how delirious I felt. I was holding Ren and falling asleep. I literally had to will myself to not shut my eyes and get enough strength to lean up (c section scar FRESH) and pick up a 6 lb baby and put her in her bassinet. This was on July 6, the day she was born. By the grace of God we never had any close calls thereafter BUT I know the importance of that third person being there with the new family. This is America the Great where there is no such thing as paternity leave. If your hubby is like mine, he left work heart racing to take care of you and his newborn. He too was so exhausted. I recommend if you can, to go and visit your friend after the baby. I’ve told my college friends that I will be staying with them a week after they give birth because I know how the shit is: ghetto.

5. Be a Real Friend

-Guys all of these are really important but this one perhaps the most. My friends coming to visit me, my cousins asking me how the experience was REALLY made a difference. My mom was in a different state at the time and FaceTimed me EVERYDAY. I can’t even describe what it feels like to have a new baby, I felt like part of me was left behind. My family and friends calling ME ZURI, making jokes, listening to me cry really helped me through those tough two years. It reminded me that I am still here, and that I was a real person before the big change.

My Auntie, who helped my sister with her twins since dad was deployed. #village

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In short, don’t think that any action is too small or unimportant when being the village for the new parents. Trust me, even the smallest gestures are never forgotten.

I hope that these tips can help another young mother. Guys remember to be the change you wish to be in this world. You can follow me on Instagram @raisingren for honest motherhood.